The Most Important People In The Family

I happened across this article while scanning my Facebook page today that may help with why kids are so different today.  It is written by John Rosemond, syndicated columnist for the LaCrosse Tribune and plainly explains who should be most important in the family.  The 5th Commandment says, “Honor your father and your mother.”  It does not say things like: Make your children the most important part of your life or children count more than parents or give your children everything or discipline harms a child’s psyche or let your child do what they want, they have to learn sometime or

John Rosemond: Your Kids Should Not Be The Most Important

I recently asked a married couple who have three kids, none of whom are yet teens, “Who are the most important people in your family?”

Like all good moms and dads of this brave new millennium, they answered, “Our kids!”

“Why?” I then asked.  “What is it about your kids that gives them that status?”  and like all good moms and dads of this brave new millennium, they couldn’t answer the question other than to fumble with appeals to emotion.

So, I answered the question for them: “There is no reasonable thing that gives your children that status.” I went on to point out that many if not most of the problems they’re having with their kids–typical stuff, these days–are the result of treating their children as if they, their marriage, and their family exist because of the kids when it is, in fact, the other way around.  Their kids exist because of them and their marriage and thrive because they have created a stable family.

Furthermore, without them, their kids wouldn’t eat well, have the nice clothing they wear, live in the nice home in which they live, enjoy the great vacations they enjoy, and so on.  Instead of lives that are relatively carefree (despite the drama to the contrary that they occasionally manufacture), their children would be living lives full of worry and want.

This issue is really the heart of the matter.  People my age know it’s the heart of the matter because when we were kids it was clear to us that our parents were the most important people in our families.  And that, right there, is why we respected our parents and that, right there, is why we looked up to adults in general.  Yes, Virginia, once upon a time in the United States of America, children were second-class citizens, to their advantage.

It was also clear to us–I speak, of course, in general terms, albeit accurate–that our parents’ marriages were more important to them than their relationships with us.  Therefore, we did not sleep in their beds or interrupt their conversations.  The family meal, at home, was regarded as more important than after-school activities.  Mom and Dad talked more–a lot more–with one another than they talked with you.  For lack of pedestals, we emancipated earlier and much more successfully than have children since.

The most important person in an army is the general.  The most important person in a corporation is the CEO.  The most important person in a classroom is the teacher.  And the most important person in the family are the parents.

The most important thing about children is the need to prepare them properly for responsible citizenship.  The primary objective should not be raising a straight-A student who excels at three sports, earns a spot on the Olympic swim team, goes to an A-list university and becomes a prominent brain surgeon.  The primary objective is to raise a child such that community and culture are strengthened.

“Our child is the most important person in our family” is the first step toward raising a child who feels entitled.

You don’t want that.  Unbeknownst to your child, he doesn’t need that.  And neither does America.

You can read the whole article at http://lacrossetribune.com/lifestyles/relationships-and-special-occasions/john-rosemond-your-kids-should-not-be-the-most-important/article_e61f4a20-c15e-53c6-ba51-e86af16ab957.html

Blessings to you and yours!

Marie

Rosemond, John. “Your kids should not be the most important.” LaCrosse Tribune 1 Jan. 2017. Facebook Web. 14 March 2017.

Friday Faves

I haven’t done a list of my top 3 favorite blog posts for quite some time.  As I read the title of Melanie’s article I was intrigued.  One of the members of the Sunday School class I teach likes to try to get me going with the question, ‘If God knows everything, why bother?’ Or something similar to that. God knows what choice we’ll make in every situation but we still have a choice. Check out Why Should We Pray (if God Already Knows Everything Anyway)?

 

 

 

Happy Anniversary to Deb Wolf and her husband!  They’ve made it to 45 years and are looking into the future.  Her 10 tips are among the same life concepts that have helped Ray and I in our 45-year journey. (April 8th we will celebrate that milestone, too.)  Enjoy this article from one of my favorite bloggers!

 

 

 

 

Finally! A review of The Shack that doesn’t bash it to pieces because it isn’t theology accurate.  Finally!  WooHoo!  I’ve read the book and loved it.  Why? Because it attempts to show God the way I believe Him to be.  The Creator of both men and women in His image. (see Genesis 1:27)  I loved it because it shows what mercy and forgiveness are meant to look like.  And I fully expect the movie to be totally awesome.

Blessings to you and yours!

Marie

 

Delight!

salem

In the course of my lifelong search for what Love really is God has given many examples of it.  We recently had guests for lunch and their youngest son was totally enamored with our black cat’s choice of sleeping/hiding places.  He (the cat in the picture above) loves to be totally covered up under quilts, blankets, pillows…actually under anything.  We would pull back the throw, that the cat was sleeping under, and all Isaiah could see was two green eyes peering back and he would laugh that delighted two-year-old laugh.  I could hear God in that laugh and knew that He was once again giving me a personal glimpse of Him through a child’s delighted laugh.

Psalm 149:4 tells us the LORD takes great delight in us.  He shows us how much He loves us in the many things around us.  Like a child’s delighted laugh, hummingbirds at the feeders, the shapes and colors of nature, people who model His many attributes, and… Watch for the LORD’s delighted love.  It’s everywhere!

Blessings to you and yours!

Marie

This is a reblog from a post on August 11, 2011. 

Where She Belongs – – Book Review

51mf2fndxilAll of us have had situations in our lives that make us want to walk away or start over or go back to a better place.  Often when we choose the latter we also have to face the memories that go along with it.  This delightful story of a lovely young widow encompasses a critically injured child…falling for the wrong guy…unknown (unremembered) circumstances from teenage years… life choices based on past experiences… a really crabby villain…

Things I liked about this story

  • The characters enter at just the right point to make the reader wonder what they have to do with the story.
  • Just the right amount of good and bad situations.
  • Bible verses interjected at just the right point

Great book for that summer afternoon, school break reading list.

Blessings to you and yours!

Marie

5 Ways To Improve Any Relationship

I often think about being the best wife, friend, teacher, worker… I can be.  Perhaps I can do more, be more, give more… Certainly all of the above but there are some very practical, down to earth ways we can show those around us they matter most.

friends-1149841_960_720

I believe the #1 way to improve friendship is to take yourself out of the running for 1st Place.  Narcissism destroys more relationships that any other personal characteristic.  Anytime we think we matter more, in any way, than the person we’re relating with ruins any chance of building up the other person.  Jesus said it best when He said, ‘love others’ in response to what is the greatest commandment.

Steven Covey, in his book First Things First, makes it clear that we must know the wants and needs of the other person to become successful.  In our relationships, we really need to know what another likes or dislikes.  Remember anything we might think is fun may not be enjoyable to someone else.  Get to know your friends, husbands, co-workers.  Talk to them.  Discover their hobbies and interests.  The best relationships take the desires of the other into account first.

When you’re building friendships and relationships don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.  If it’s more than one-sided the other person is just as interested in you.  If your friend says let’s go see a dirt bike race and you really can’t stand the dust then tell them.  Remember, if your friend is truly interested in creating an awesome relationship they’ll find someone else to go with and both of you will discover something about the other.

That leads us to trust.  If a friend chooses to do something with another person do not put a guilt trip on them.  Building relationships with other people adds more to the friendships you already have.  Learning to trust others is a huge growth issue.  One does not need to know everything that their friend is doing every moment to build a strong relationship.

kindness-710209_960_720Last, but certainly not least, choose kindness.  In Aesop’s fable, The Lion and the Mouse, the moral is, a kindness is never wasted.  Perhaps something you’ve done in the past will lead to its reward in the future.  True kindness, like love, is based on wanting what is best for the other person.

 

Sometimes, when I read a list like this, I think I have to do everything.  Not so!  Even choosing one of these suggestions will make you a standout, awesome friend.  Go for it!

Blessings to you and yours!

Marie

Do Overs

startup-1805215_960_720

God is the God of second chances, third chances, fourth chances…  God gives ‘do-overs’.  Look at the number of people in the Bible who were given another chance, a do-over if you will.

David and Paul and Jael were murderers…

Noah and Lot were drunks…

Rahab was a prostitute…

Samson was a womanizer…

Jonah was hesitant, reluctant, and fearful…

Naomi and Martha were whiners…

Peter denied…

Elijah was suicidal…

All of them were given mercy.  Yes, a do-over.

David asked for forgiveness and God, in His great mercy, said I can still use you.  (Psalm 51)

Rahab followed through on her promise and God saved her and her family in the fall of Jericho and topped that off with giving her a place in the lineage of Christ.  (Joshua 6:22)

Jonah went the opposite direction to get away from God’s command, God sent a storm and whale to get him where he needed him… Jonah saved the people of an entire city.  (Jonah)

Jesus told Martha to quit whining and follow the example of her sister Mary. (Luke 10:38-42)

Peter did exactly what Jesus said he would.  But Jesus knew the rest of the story…Peter would be the Founding Father of His churches.  (Matthew 16:18)

Elijah was so afraid of what Jezebel would do to him that he ran and hid under a desert bush asking God to let him die.  God had other plans…  (1 Kings 19:4-14)

And he still does that today.  He knows we’re not perfect.  He knows we fall short.  Yet, He forgives over and over and lets us start over and over.

What a Mighty God we serve!

Blessings to you and yours!

Marie

Come over and join Deb and I at Joys, Junk and Jesus on Facebook

Hannah’s Choice Book Review

Adulting is hard.  There’s no way around it.  In Hannah’s Choice, life choices abound.  In this book, you’ll find a little history, family issues, drama, sadness, great joy and more.

Although set in the mid 18oo’s the issues could easily be issues of 21st Century families.

The setting – Lancaster County, Pennsylvania

The time – right before the Civil War25795353-_sy180_

The choice – which of two young men will she marry, will she travel to an unknown part of the country or stay where she is

The book took several surprising twists and kept me very curious about what would happen next.  From a severely depressed mother to a sister who insisted on doing life her way to fleeing slaves…there’s a delightful mix of romance, history and making decisions.

I highly recommend this book for those who enjoy Amish novels.

Blessings to you and yours!

Marie

 

God Breathed

all-scripture

Can you imagine placing your hands on any page of your Bible and feeling His very breath on the page?   That is exactly what this verse is saying (to me).  This is how I see it – – if I can’t see Him face to face until I enter heaven then I’ll settle (hardly the right word) for experiencing His breath in the words I’m reading.

Think about the words of this beautiful chorus from the song “Ancient Words” by Lynn DeShazo.

Ancient words ever true, changing me and changing you; We have come with open hearts, oh, let the ancient words impart.

Friends, family, sisters, and brothers in Christ there is nothing more important than knowing God’s word.  In every action and situation of our lives we can draw on the Word and know without question it was written for that very purpose.

God did not leave us alone on this earth.  He is still breathing every word, in every verse, on every page of our Bibles.

Holy words long preserved for our walk in this world, they resound with God’s own heart; Oh, let the ancient words impart.

Ah, Lord, God thank You for every word, every phrase, every letter of Your Word.  Heavenly Father place a real hunger in our hearts to know Your words and use them for our lives.  Let us not only read them but let us use them.  Put teachers in our lives to help us understand them.  Drench us with the Holy Spirit as we read and learn how to apply them.  Make it so in Jesus name!

Monday Mewsings

I thoroughly enjoy having cats for pets and have often wondered what the Bible says regarding that.  So, I did some research.  Here goes…

cat-861105_960_720

Not even a sparrow, worth only half a penny, can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it.” Matthew 10:29, New Living Translation  God is aware of all of His creation, all of the time. With that thought in mind shouldn’t we be also?

cow-789602__340

“O Lord, You preserve both man and beast.” Psalm 36:6  So, let’s think about this.  If God preserves (cares for) man and animal then we should be doing the same.

kat-163341_960_720-1

“A righteous man regards the life of his animal.” Proverbs 12:10  Righteousness is making right choices.  The word regards reflects the idea of caring for animals in the best way possible.

There has been a great deal of research about how cats affect their humans.

cat-1423844_960_720

Need to work something out?  Talk to your cat. It doesn’t respond and when it looks at you with those beautiful eyes you know you’re the most important human ever.

cat-1614734_960_720

Dealing with stress and anxiety? That awesome ball of purring fur will eliminate stress faster than any pill.

feline-648631_960_720

Are you a high risk for cardiovascular disease?  A recent study found a high significant statistical probability that those who own cats have less chance of death due to stroke or heart attack.  One study found that over a 10-year period cat owners were 30 percent less likely to die of a heart attack or stroke

cat-248548_960_720

Do you love books and have a college degree?  Thank your cat.  According to Dr. Denise Guastello cat owners are introverted, open-minded, non-conformists, and score high on intelligence tests.

cat-1818927_960_720

Do you sleep with your cat?  Researchers at the Mayo Clinic discovered that 41% of those who sleep with their cat report sleeping better.

Do you have a cat? A dog? Share it with us.

Blessings to you and yours!

Marie

 

Insult

Have you ever given any thought to choosing a word you won’t be using as your Word for the Year?  That’s exactly what Holley Gerth addresses in her article, The Word I’m NOT Choosing This Year.  It’s certainly worth the read. Check it out!

As I thought about this concept it crossed my mind that 2016 was a very negative and insulting year. (I’m not just referring to the election.  That in itself was beyond anything I could have imagined.)  For me, there was little positive input and I endured insults that were both perceived and real.  So, with that thought in mind, the word I’m not choosing for the year is INSULT.  This picture sums it up:

20a

I know that attacks and insults are to be expected as a follower of Jesus.  I get it!  But I have decided for this year that I will not allow another’s words or actions to cloud my view and dirty my mind.

Matthew 7:1 gives us the famous words, “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” I like it better the way Peterson says it in The Message, “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment.”

My prayer for the year is this:

Heavenly Father, Abba, hear my prayer for a clean heart and uncluttered mind.  Give me wisdom and courage to deal with those who would use their words against me.  Help me to know when and if I should respond.  Let my response never be unkind or unforgiving.  I want to show the Face of Jesus and the Mind of Christ to those around me.  Yes, even those who are insulting, mean or unkind.  Make it so in Jesus name.