5 Ways To Improve Any Relationship

I often think about being the best wife, friend, teacher, worker… I can be.  Perhaps I can do more, be more, give more… Certainly all of the above but there are some very practical, down to earth ways we can show those around us they matter most.


I believe the #1 way to improve friendship is to take yourself out of the running for 1st Place.  Narcissism destroys more relationships that any other personal characteristic.  Anytime we think we matter more, in any way, than the person we’re relating with ruins any chance of building up the other person.  Jesus said it best when He said, ‘love others’ in response to what is the greatest commandment.

Steven Covey, in his book First Things First, makes it clear that we must know the wants and needs of the other person to become successful.  In our relationships, we really need to know what another likes or dislikes.  Remember anything we might think is fun may not be enjoyable to someone else.  Get to know your friends, husbands, co-workers.  Talk to them.  Discover their hobbies and interests.  The best relationships take the desires of the other into account first.

When you’re building friendships and relationships don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.  If it’s more than one-sided the other person is just as interested in you.  If your friend says let’s go see a dirt bike race and you really can’t stand the dust then tell them.  Remember, if your friend is truly interested in creating an awesome relationship they’ll find someone else to go with and both of you will discover something about the other.

That leads us to trust.  If a friend chooses to do something with another person do not put a guilt trip on them.  Building relationships with other people adds more to the friendships you already have.  Learning to trust others is a huge growth issue.  One does not need to know everything that their friend is doing every moment to build a strong relationship.

kindness-710209_960_720Last, but certainly not least, choose kindness.  In Aesop’s fable, The Lion and the Mouse, the moral is, a kindness is never wasted.  Perhaps something you’ve done in the past will lead to its reward in the future.  True kindness, like love, is based on wanting what is best for the other person.


Sometimes, when I read a list like this, I think I have to do everything.  Not so!  Even choosing one of these suggestions will make you a standout, awesome friend.  Go for it!

Blessings to you and yours!


How Can I Be More Like Jesus?

If you’re much like me you’ve given a lot of thought to becoming more like Jesus. To emulate (copy) another person’s characteristics is the greatest compliment you can give them.  One of the ways to do that is to know His attributes.  Now to do them all would take an entire library so I’ve selected just a few to consider.




LOVE  Doing what is best for others without expecting anything in return.                             1 Corinthians 13:4:7-8

JOY  Real happiness in every part of God’s creation.  Nehemiah 8:10

PEACE  A sense of tranquility which is a result of resting in His Spirit.  John 14:7

PATIENCE  Accepting all situations, even the really difficult ones, as part of God’s plan.  Ephesians 4:2

KINDNESS  A loving attitude toward all.  Ephesians 4:32

CONTENTMENT  Accepting God’s provision in whatever measure He gives. 2 Timothy 6:6-7

HOLINESS  Set apart to join Him in His activities.  2 Corinthians 7:3

SENSITIVITY  Opening our hearts and minds to compassion for those around us.  Romans 12:5

JUST  Doing what is right. Romans 2:11

SUBMISSION  Yielding to God’s authority in all things. Ephesians 5:21

GRACE  God’s free and undeserved favor.  2 Corinthians 12:9

There are so many more than these.  It’s interesting that each of us, through the Holy Spirit, has them all.  It really is our choice whether or not we let them shine through and out.

Blessings to you and yours!


Quit Gloating

Have you heard this? “I knew that would happen!” “S/he got what s/he deserved!” “Told ya!” There’s a word for enjoying another person’s consequences.  Epicaricacy means ‘delight in another person’s misfortune’.

God has plenty to say about this and when that happens we can know where He stands on the issue and what He wants us to do about it.  So let’s dig in…

Do not gloat when your enemy falls

God knows everything, every thought, every moment of our lives.  He knows what we’ve done, said, or thought.  You cannot hide from Him.  Sure, we know when someone has failed or worse, sinned.  God says, “Let Me handle it!”  The writer, Solomon, is saying that if we dish out disapproval  He will turn toward us instead of the person it’s aimed at.  Trust me, I’d rather have someone fail miserably than have God point His finger at me.

If I have rejoiced at my enemy's misfortune...

Job 31 is a list of the ways Job could have sinned and hidden in it is the verse above.  Read the whole chapter and you’ll discover that Job understood, totally, what God wanted him to do and he practised it.  He was not a gloating, self-centered person.  He had a very clear picture of what God wanted and he followed through.

Since God chose you to be the holy people whom He loves

And so, what does God want of us?  We are to be merciful.  We are to choose kindness and gentleness.  We are to model patience.  We are to forgive like God has.